The rose petal dress

I am a winter born girl who is desperate for warmth in the floorboards. I cannot live a life where I wander purposely, always searching for where the sunshine grows, nor can I live a life chasing darkness just to call myself a better poet. I am not only happy, I am not only sad. I am both of these feelings in the same day. Sometimes, and only sometimes, sadness will consume me and render me its student. This is how I felt before writing my last blog post. I was sad and no amount of music or birdwatching could wake me from the sour taste of wanting to feel better and not knowing how.

I moped to my mother. I put blame on my lover. I crept and cried while the hands on the clock moved slowly. I wondered if the feeling would lift the same way forgiveness keeps a friendship or clouds part after a rainstorm. I knew in my heart, time would be kind to me. I would return to my body and reconnect my head with my soul. I would once again be the winter born girl who had songs of summertime in her bones.

Today as I write to you, I feel like happiness is here, between the belly and the bone. I sat on the floor of a book store and I heard children laughing. I looked out of my kitchen window at midnight and saw a wild rabbit chasing the moon. I tasted raspberry jam on toast in the early hours. These are the tiny moments in a day that make me believe happiness is here. Sometimes, and only sometimes, sadness will consume and render me its student, but then time comes to pass and I begin to see things a little more brightly than I ever did before. If you can't let sadness help you grow, what on earth is it for?

The Outfit

Dress – Chicwish

White lace blouse – Value Village

Red Tights – Joe Fresh

Banjo – Dogwood Banjos

The Location ✈

Ravine behind my house, Calgary Alberta Canada

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