we sing to the dogs or whoever

My lips have cola on them, and I swallow the fizz to sooth my aching throat. I guess you could say I'm always sick. Or you could use a translator, and it might say,... I'm a constant complainer.  If my heads not pounding, my tummy is sore. If my tummy isn't sore, I've got a runny nose.  Me and my health, it's a never ending story. But I'm seeing doctors, and I'm taking steps. I'm running, and I'm sleeping, and I'm cooking veggies, and I'm bathing in fruit, and I'm stretching the paths of my brain, until my body becomes healthy again.  I mean, at the end of the day, what else is there to do? You can try to be healthy in your soul. You can try to be healthy in your bones.  And sometimes it's not enough.

The sun played with my cheeks yesterday. And painted them rosy. Today, there is no sun. The clouds darken the highways, and the oak trees draw no shadows. I'm feeling stretched by worries, and unforgiving to-do lists.  Life hands me lists, and today is a paint-by-numbers-kind-of-day. I'm just painting numbers, filling lines, I'm not allowed to think, or freely draw my day. There is life to be undone, and my journey needs progress. There's school to finish. There's risks to take. There's parties to attend. There's wine to be drank. There's money to be made.  There's a good life awaiting. There's a sun peek-a-booing behind the clouds. I just need to learn how to hug bad days.

 Let bad days go away. Let the sun shine on my cheeks again!

I must tell you. Everyday, I'm learning.  Learning shades of the sky

, learning the myriad complexity of emotions, learning how to walk on marshmallows, learning how to be Amy.  Life is grand, and sorrowful, and beautiful,  and enchanting. I'll unbuckle this seatbelt that's keeping me from, well, me.  I'll always be learning, but it's time I start living. Not living for my teachers, or the friends who meet me by the bay, not for the loved ones who whisper sweet nothings, and certainly not for those who wrinkle my soul. It's time to put on my selfish head, and transform into a shellfish.

I will continue, and forever, sprinkle love onto others like table salt at supper.
But I'll wake up with the purpose, and that purpose will be for me. Amy. ^_^

Love doves, and my shining lights, It's Halloween! I must stop dwelling! I'm done being a hummmmbug. There's pumpkins to carve, and vampires to greet, and witches to chase. It's a lovely time of year. A time for candy apples, and caramel corn. It's the only time of year you can get away with being something your not. So I'm dressing as a baseball player.... and I'm drinking tea, and wine, and casting shadows with candlelight. I'll be kissing werewolves, and laughing. Oh, I'll be laughing.

What are you dressing up as? Do tell!

XOXOXO

dress; value village $6

sweater; winners $20

hat; H&M $13

shoesies; winners $40