Hello precious beings. March ends, and I am glad. All month I've been at war. Rapid thoughts float like rapid waters through my head. I've needed a place to belong. Every shower, too cold. Every light, too bright. Every emotion, too strong. There was a stranger in the mirror, with an empty drawn out face. I forgot who I was. The only thing March brought me was tiredness, and an unsettling battle of heart vs head. fight vs fear. stay vs go. love vs hate. Why have I felt this? Has the absence of time brought me to the flaws of youth? Inhaling was much harder than exhaling. I am glad it's over. over. over.

I think I think too much.

I seek too much.

I desire discovery too much.





"It’s all imaginary anyway. That’s why it’s important. People only fight over imaginary things."

People throw pennies in wishing wells, and tie their hands to pray. They wish for things. They wish for an existence they don't have. They wish for meaning. Sometimes I wish I was simple. I wish my thought patterns swam in a sea of consistency. I am tired of being in a metamorphosis. I am sick of tiring myself with worry. My body is attached to my brain. Is it possible to detach my spirit from my brain? If only I could, I would be free. How do we free ourselves from our selves?



Life is a sequence of puzzles. We're always solving, only to discover an incomplete puzzle. I've always wondered if old age, and old wisdom, will bring me those missing pieces.

We are humans. We touch, and we feel. We're allowed gray days, where the sun forgets to shine. We're allowed moments of weakness. I just hope my in my life, I will learn to keep those graying days from turning into fragile weeks. There is too much spirit in me to keep myself sad!



Josh Brolin, and the sound of violin strings lighten my t.v, and suddenly, somehow, things are okay. The weather is nice. My eyes, and legs desire to explore... but there's a room in my house that needs cleaning, and a suitcase on my bed that needs packing.








"
…so i fight for her. it is what lovers do. there is no dichotomy: lover or fighter? it is lover/fighter both. i fought to get her, so i fight to keep her while i’m with her. i do not understand those who fight only to get back what they have lost. you should have been fighting all along."



I'm going on a trip tomorrow. I'm going to a home, where a large fraction of my heart belongs. It will be nice to relish in freedom, and fun. No worries, no clouds, just bliss. Happpy easter !


dress/ topshop $12
tights/ H&M $14
knee highs/ the bay $4
shoesies/ winners $50
headband/ nyc flea market $12